Friday, March 16, 2012

Kinda A Birth Story

I started to write out Holden's birth story and after every 'section' I had to stop. I am still very emotional over the whole experience. I have a ton of happy and sad emotions. Obviously happy emotions because it was the day my son was born and it was such an amazing day, however sad emotions because of how it happened. How we were on a 'schedule'... the doctors schedule, and how the whole morning went accordingly so my doctor could get her morning run in. I also have some anger towards myself that I didn't trust my gut instinct on more than one occasion, and how I didn't voice my concerns and stand up to the doctor when I knew I should have. The good thing is everyone is healthy and happy and I have my little boy in my arms and not in my belly. :) But oh how I hope and pray that I can learn and listen to that gut intuition (which now is my mommy instinct) from here on out. So with that being said... I will give you a very short tid bit of how the day went, and maybe one day I can post the long birth story that I have typed out.

It was past Holden's due date and so I had to go into my last scheduled doctor’s appointment. I wasn't looking forward to this appointment because I had hoped I would have gone into labor on my own, and I wasn't thrilled at which doctor I had to see (*note to self I should have said I wanted a different doctor right then). So hubby and I went to our last appointment and it was determined that I would be induced on Tuesday Feb 21st if I didn't go into labor over the weekend.

Labor didn't happen over the weekend.

We headed to the hospital at our scheduled time at 3:00am and I was hooked up to Pitocin starting at 3:45am.



 Things moved along very quick and very hard. I learned to control my contractions with the different breathing methods. Then as they upped my Pitocin count they checked to see how far along I was - 4.5cm 100% effaced - and then my water broke on its own. My doctor had planned on coming in at 8-9am to break my water, so I was ahead of the game. Then everything started to progress a lot quicker than planned and the nurse had given me a drug to take the edge off; bad mistake. I got hit by a mad truck. I turned pale white, couldn't stop shaking, sweating, vomiting and I couldn't even keep my eyes open. At this point they took me off Pitocin. I was so ill, and not to mention tired, they came in with the epidural. I cried. I was already fully dilated and 100% effaced so after they gave me the epi my nurse said she was going to tell the doctor I was only 9 cm so I could take an hour to try and rest and sleep. An hour later at 9am my nurse and doctor came in because it was time to push. The moment was amazing. I could feel pain and pressure and I could see everything that was going on. Then my doctor said that she had to do an episiotomy because this baby wasn't coming out any other way. She cut me once and then had to cut again... then I tore on top of it all. Ouch! Then it was 10:00am as my baby was actually coming out into this world to meet us. Steve, my mother and mother in law were all with me encouraging me to keep pushing and experiencing every single moment with me. Our baby was coming into this world and it was truly indescribable. Best moment of my life ever. I actually got to see that my baby was a boy a second before the doctor said "It's a BOY!" because my peanut was facing my direction when I pushed him out. I will never forget that moment. Holden Joseph was born at 10:06 am. I had a 6 hour labor.

After Holden was born we got moved to the recovery room. Everything was going well! I was in severe pain but obviously it was worth it. My baby Holden was everything more than perfectand he was more than I had ever hoped and dreamed for. Steve and I could not have been more proud and more honored that God had given us this precious gift. That he has entrusted us with raising this little man. That moment started the mark of our new lives and we couldn't be more than excited to say the least.

We were at the hospital for another night of recovery, and then discharge was at 10am the following day. The morning we were being released, Holden had his last check up with the doctor and they heard a slight heart murmur so they ordered an echo graph (basically an ultrasound of his heart). They took him away from our room to do this. (LONGEST 45 minutes of my life!!) Then after our family of three was back comfortably in our room we watched the clock as time slowly went by as we waited for the nurses to come discharge us. Hours went by and the clock kept ticking. The results from Holden's heart finally came back and it turned out he has 3 holes in his heart and there was still a ton of pressure in his right chamber of his heart. Because of these issues they had made an appointment with a cardio specialist 2 weeks from when Holden was born. Of course I cried, but I knew that if it were that serious they wouldn't let us leave the hospital to go home.

We are home and we love it! Now what?

Enjoy every moment and nap when the baby naps! ;)



Holden turns two weeks old and we go in for his appointment because of his heart issues. The doctor tells us that the holes are not as big of a deal, but they will keep a watch on them, one in particular. The one in particular is a vent that is open in all babies until a day or two after they are born. This vent closes due to the usage of the lungs. Once the baby breathes on its own then this vent that goes from the heart to the lungs get closed. Holden's vent has yet to close. The doctors will watch this. The other two holes were not a big concern... doctors briefly went over the location and said they were not a big deal.... 20% of the world’s population has holes in their heart and they don't even know it. As of now Holden would be able to play all sports and live a completely normal and healthy life, but when he is older he could not have a career at NASA and the Navy Seals wouldn't take him either. So no going to the moon for Holden, but that's ok because I would prefer that he stays on Earth ;) Although the doc said if he really wanted to go to the moon or go deep under water he could get surgery to correct the holes. So back to the main issue of the pressure in the right chamber. We were told that when babies are born the right chamber is dominate and it transitions over to the left and stays that way for the rest of their life. So the pressure in Holden's right chamber should have decreased by 2 weeks to let the doctor know that transition is happening, just slower than normal. And it did decrease, but not enough. So we will go back when Holden is 9 months old to revist all the above issues. Doctor said he is good to go and just stay house bound for at least 2 months.... no stores, no other homes, no church, nothing. STAY HOME! And don't let people hold him without washing hands etc, and no sick folks coming around to say hello. If Holden gets sick it could be worse in his case. So this mommy and baby is house bound until after Easter. Fine by me! I'm soaking in every ounce of Holden that I can!! :)



xox m.

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